It is almost a perfect day yesterday (21 July 2019).
I am a normal Hong Kong citizen. Born in the 80’s, a Christian who lives in Tin Shui Wai. Yesterday was a normal Sunday. I went back to church to join the worship with my wife in Kowloon, joined our friends for lunch in Tsim Sha Tsui, watched Toy Story 4 at the Grand Ocean cinema, and went back home after dinner by West Rail.
At about 10pm, we were at the Austin Station, everything looked normal in the West Rail train. Our train arrived at Yuen Long Station just before 11pm, we heard a screaming, “Someone’s hurt, we need backups!”, and our train was stopped because of this confusion. I asked my wife to stay in the train, while I got off and went down to the station lobby to see what happened. Inside the gate, there were people holding their umbrellas up, defending from a group of gangsters who were all wearing white-shirts, attacking people inside the gate with wooden sticks, water bottles and baseball bats. People were trapped inside. There were around 40 to 50 white-shirt gangsters, mainly in their middle-aged, some were even older, shouted fiercely in Cantonese foul languages with agitation.
There were fresh blood stains on the floor inside the gate. Outside the gate not far away, there was someone injured, lying down on the floor, constantly threatening by a white-shirt gangster. I did not go out and help him due to the dangerous situation and I tended to go back up to the train. At that very moment, people inside the gate were suddenly moved back towards me. Some rushed into the washroom, others ran passed me and dashed to the platform through the escalators and staircase, and planned to reach the train for safety.
我見身邊有人跌倒，想幫又幫唔到手。然後白衫人已經殺到埋身，我正準備跑上扶手電梯上月台嘅時候就俾人從後襲擊咗後腦一下，我一邊跑一邊回望，睇到一個白衫人拎住枝棒球棍對住扶手電梯上面嘅人（包括我）大聲叫罵「 ___ 你老母」（第一個字聽得唔太清楚，請自行填充。）
Someone fell down next to me, I wished to help but I couldn’t. The white-shirt gangsters were fast approaching, and I was about to rush back to the escalator. All of a sudden, I was attacked at my hindbrain, out of nowhere! I kept running and looked back at the attacker, it was a white-shirt gangster who was holding a baseball bat, yelling to the people (including me) on the escalator: YOU MOTHER _______ ! (I didn’t hear it clearly, fill-in as you like)
I kept fleeing back to the platform, that white-shirt gangster had stopped chasing us. I went in the train with other passengers, and I did not even realized that I was bleeding until someone told me. Some very friendly passengers helped me to clean and wrap the wound (well, that was the first time I used sanitary pad), and nice enough to give me a seat.
I was talking to my wife through the phone throughout the whole process. She told me that those gangsters were attacking people inside the train. Passengers around me were extremely worried, we were all afraid that those white-shirt Triad gangsters (now I knew they are Triad) will storme in and attack. We all hope that the train will move out from the station soon. At the same time, people were saying that there were attacks at the train head (I was at the tail), we were all in confusions and panics. After some minutes (looks like the MTR has made a statement regarding the detailed time), the train has finally moved, and I arrived Tin Shui Wai Station at last. I found my wife, we went straight to an Ambulanceman and admitted to the Tin Shui Wai Hospital afterwards, where I had my three stitches done. While I was waiting in the Emergency Room, 5 or 6 more injured people were sent in due to the West Rail attack.
Policeman stationed in the Emergency Room has asked if I need to file a report. I had agreed after some consideration. The Crime Unit has also arrived after 2 to 3 hours to take my statement. After taking my personal information, he asked directly, “Did you join the protest march today?” I said, “No”. He looked doubt. I took out the Toy Story 4 ticket stained with my blood and showed him, then he stopped questioning me. Eventually, I went home at about 5am.
It was a very normal day yesterday — shopping with my wife, watching movie, have a great dinner. I know what had happened lately in this city and how desperate people are these days. So I planned to have a relaxed day and free from the news. The ironic part is, on the day I was trying to rest and have a life, it was the day I encountered the indiscriminate attack. There is this saying, “you don’t mess with politics, politics will mess with you eventually”. I was attacked, so I must have done something wrong? What did I do wrong? Oh, I guess it must have been about me watching the American animation.
我知道我受嘅傷，同喺中上環俾警察無預警下開槍射傷嘅市民比，實在係微不足道（其實佢哋更應被關注！）。不過身邊聽到我經歷嘅朋友都好驚、好忿怒，其實我都係好忿怒、好無助，我地都無辦法明白到底點解坐西鐵返屋企會俾黑社會打，而點解警察又唔嚟阻止？但我更加感受到嘅係市民果種恐懼同絕望感，人群閃躲之際有人跌倒，有人落單，大家衝入車廂果陣會唔會發生人踩人？我老婆都陪伴咗個受驚而情緒失控嘅少女。大家都好驚、好恐懼、好絕望、好furious。人係受威脅之下，會出現figh-or-flight的反應，喺腎上腺素嘅驅使之下，一係會反擊，一係會逃走，但手無寸鐵嘅市民被圍困係車廂中被人撳住嚟打，既不能fight , 又不能flight，果種絕望同恐懼的確唔係三言兩語講得明白，往後嘅心理創傷同陰影烙印，可以係一生之久。
Comparing to those protesters shot by the Policemen without warning in Sheung Wan and Central, I was nothing (we should pay more attention to them instead!). But friends around me were shocked and outraged about my attack. To be frank, I was shocked too. Who would imagine that attack will come when I was just taking the West Rail train back home? And where were the Policemen when we need them? And most of all, I experienced the same fear and desperation with the passengers. People were dodging, falling down, left behind, there could be stampede when we rushed back to the train! My wife had also stayed and comforted a young girl who had almost lost control because of the frightening situation. Everyone was afraid, worried, hopeless and furious. When people are being threatened, there is a response called “fight-or-flight”. The adrenaline will drive you to either fight back or take flight. Unfortunately, when we were unarmed and trapped inside the train, we cannot fight back, we cannot take flight, there is no word to describe the despair and fear in that scenario. The psychological trauma and shadow can be life-long.
Some people may say, regardless of how innocent I am, that still, I was to blame. Maybe I ran too slow so I was meant to be attacked. Maybe I passed by Yuen Long so I should have known it better. I do not want to debate with their accusations, it is meaningless anyway. In my believe, there is no hope in taking the attacker down in my case, and I have no intention to take revenge. You see, when there is war in a country, the government will not take it serious when a citizen got killed. Wartime society has its own law of survival, and I have to deal with this reality: Hong Kong is in war now, and I have zero interest in what the HK Police Force and the government will take serious into.
There is one thing I must say. Hong Kong people are really full of passion. During this chaotic time, people are still willing to look after each other. I am blessed with their love: Passengers on the train have comforted me, treated my wound carefully when there is lack of first-aid materials; the professional treatment by the Ambulancemen; some friends have even rushed back after arriving their homes in downtown, one even drove his car all the way to the hospital; my family who have stayed with me in the Emergency Room throughout the whole night; all the comforts, loves and blessings from my friends…I am so blessed.
I will not say that the attack is not important, or lighten it up or paper over the cracks. Anyone have conscious will definitely be heartbroken and ambushed about the attack at the West Rail. But the truth is that, our outrageous has nowhere to escape. Our society system is corrupting, the totalitarianism is raging brutally to a point where no one is allowed to have their own thinking and feeling. When a simple graffiti is an act to test the bottom line of the government’s governance, when the Chief Executive ridiculously condemns the destruction of a symbolic device more than the vicious attack to innocent citizen, I know that our lives have absolutely no values to these senior officials. This evil political system is taking lives, creating the chaos and the reason for their stuck-up governance, forcing the people to give up fighting, while eventually the people will worship them as gods with their kingdom lasts forever.
However, in this ridiculous attack experience under the evil conspiracy, there are lovely people around me: passengers , Ambulancemen, friends and family, for their loves and comforts give me the strength to overcome the helpless feeling throughout this absurd situation, the faith to move on, the courage to face the inevitable fear, and the hope to concur the in-depth pressure caused by the desperation of the indiscriminate attack.
I was attacked yesterday, and it made my perfect day imperfect. But I found love and courage in the time of danger and fear. Hong Kong people do watch over for each other.
是的，香港人很有愛，所以我們值得擁有比現在更好的社會領袖和政治制度，We deserve better。因為你們有愛，所以我能夠不再怕遭害。因為你們有愛，所以我能夠堅持這個心願。因為你們有愛，所以我有信心香港人能夠一齊撐落去。
HongKongers are so full of love, that is why we deserve better society leaders and political system. We DO deserve better. Because of your love, I do not fear the danger. Because of your love, I can hold tight to hope. Because of your love, I have faith that HongKongers can stick together and make our own future.
HongKongers, ADD OIL!